The Seamus Fox Podcast.
This podcast has been created to share real life experiences from inspiring people in all walks of life, those who have engineered change in their own lives through a shift in thinking and beliefs. I want to share my own journey and have others share theirs so that it can help inspire others to crete the internal changes thats needed to create long lasting life changes.
The Seamus Fox Podcast.
Consciousness, Coaching, and Fatherhood: Conversations with Philip Brady
“You don’t need more motivation you need clarity, purpose, and your edge back.”
If you're a business owner or high performer who knows there’s another level mentally, emotionally, and strategically here’s your next step:
➡️ Book a private call with Seamus: https://seamusfox.com
➡️ Or DM “PODCAST” on Linkdeln to start the conversation: https://www.linkedin.com/in/seamus-fox-943b7117a/
This isn’t coaching for the masses it’s mindset recalibration for men who lead, build, and want to win without burning out or losing themselves in the process.
Todays Guest.
Philip Brady, executive coach and new father, shares how his three-month-old son is teaching him more about himself and the world than he ever imagined possible. We explore the fascinating journey from early exposure to personal development books to coaching high-performing leaders who genuinely care about making a positive impact.
• Philip received his first Tony Robbins book at age 11 and has been studying personal development ever since
• Grew up in Dublin before moving to County Meath at age 13, navigating the challenges of finding new community
• Works with "unicorn" clients – exceptional performers who want to make the world better for others
• Great leaders demonstrate growth mindset, curiosity, reflection, and taking responsibility
• When feeling negative, use the "what, so what, now what" journaling technique to gain clarity
• The mind-body connection is crucial – when your mind is negative, change your physical state
• Negative emotions aren't problems to eliminate but valuable messengers with half-lives of 30-40 seconds
• Acceptance is the foundation for change – "the sooner we accept that life is the yin yang, the sooner negative feelings disappear"
• Fatherhood is "beautiful chaos" that reinforces the power of accepting reality as it is
• Philip's future plans include more speaking, music, nature connection, and tree planting with clients
hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. I am looking forward to today's conversation. I am speaking with mr philip brady, a fellow coach and a friend of mine. Philip, welcome to the podcast thank you and hello shames.
Speaker 2:Happy new year happy new year.
Speaker 1:Happy new year to you as well, philip, for people who don't know who you are, if you give us a wee quick introduction of who you are and what you're involved in.
Speaker 2:So, most importantly, I'm now a father of a three-month-old little boy called Jack, and he is already teaching me more about myself and the world than I could have imagined. Separate from that, I'm a husband to my wife, katie, brother, son, hopefully, friend, and for work, I do executive coaching with kind of business leaders, kind of corporate leaders, so people working within corporate kind of businesses as well, whether they're so that's kind of within a company or whether they run their own business as well. And then I do kind of keynote speaking and I have some really cool things coming up this year that haven't even really happened or even formulated, but there's some really exciting things in the future going on. I'm very optimistic about the future. I'm very hopeful, even at a time when a lot of people aren't. And I think, given where we are on the uh humanity's world clock, uh, I feel very. I feel like I'm developing the capability to be able to equip us to make better decisions. That, I think, is going to make a difference love it, love it, um.
Speaker 1:And I totally agree that your kids will be the best personal development courses you'll you'll ever do. We think we teach the kids, but they're teaching us, that's for sure.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's profound. I mean I've read more than one book and he's taught me way more than any of the books that I've read.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so for people that are listening, your kid is what?
Speaker 2:12 weeks old 12 weeks, three months, two days, two days ago fantastic.
Speaker 1:We'll touch on some of that as we go. Philip, what I like to do for everyone that I speak to is to kind of get a bit of context. Um, what got you to this point? Where did you grow up? What was it like as a young Philip growing up, and what were those kind of early inspirations and early challenges start?
Speaker 2:with earliest challenges. I remember being punched in the face by patrick kenny when I was about eight or nine years old and I've never been in a fight since, I've never been punched or punch somebody else since uh, deathly afraid of aggression or anger. And I remember that time running home to my mom crying um, upset that the world wasn't this sunshine and lollipops place. Another kind of form formative experience is like I was given one of my first Tony Robbins books at 11 by my mom. And then I was given a Don Miguel Ruiz's book the four agreements by a pharmacist who I called into, who was studying to be a life coach, and I didn't know that any of this kind of stuff was possible, and so, like before I was a teenager, I've been studying this stuff. And then I had a an in my bones conversation with somebody who was suicidal.
Speaker 2:That was really close to me and I didn't have any answers to give them. I only had questions and being present because, again, at that age, I think it was 11 or 12, it was the year 2000, so I was 12 turning 13. I mean, that was a conversation that rocked me and propelled me to to do some of the work that I do Because, again, I don't always have answers, sometimes all I have is questions and being present, which is why I'm a coach.
Speaker 1:Some pretty profound insights at an early age, especially from the self-development space and having a conversation with someone who's in that position. Was that person the same age as you 12, 13 years of age?
Speaker 2:Yeah, a little bit younger, A few years younger.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Okay. So where did you grow up, Philip? What was that like? What was it? You actually grew up? What was school like? Were you interested in anything in school or what was going on there?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I grew up in Dublin, so until I was 13,. So in 2000, we actually moved to Navon County, meath, which is about 40 minutes outside Dublin. I was always good in school but I was also a little bit of a messer so I had to balance off a little bit of cheek but you had nothing to give out to me about because I was excelling at some of the stuff and I don't think I've ever shared this publicly and I don't know I've ever shared this publicly and I don't know why shameless. But I was within the like top 99th percentile for iq in ireland as a. That would have been primary school. And so I actually went to CTYI, which is the Centre for Talented Youth in Ireland, in DCU.
Speaker 2:So I did almost like degree level courses or kind of topics over summer as a 9-10 year old little boy and so that was in things that probably now wouldn't be that into, like maths and art, and I think there was music and maybe something else. There was something else in it, but I mean at a young age it was good. I mean my IQ was high, but IQ will only get you so far. And so again back to in school because I had changed from Dublin to Nav and to Mead. I had to adapt. I had to develop a new community of people around me, and so I was always quite malleable.
Speaker 2:So I changed who I was, depending on who I was with.
Speaker 2:That's fine, but if you do that for too long, you lose who you are. And I found who I was in books, reading and studying and escaping from the world, which again bet me up that one time by Patrick Henney and I was safe and I was unhurtable in books, and so a lot of my last kind of 20 years has been escaping the world and then most recently, probably about 10 years ago, since I moved up to to Belfast, re-entering the world and being hurt by it, but also being moved deeply by joy and awe and happiness and every emotion in between. So I mean that's been some of the journey as well. That's been kind of ongoing, and underlying is escaping my body, which was painful because the world you experience it there and then living in my mind and understanding the world but not experiencing it went to university, all that kind of stuff. That's where I met katie and my now wife and we've had a really nice life since 2014. We moved up north and we've had the best of the times up here. It's been beautiful fantastic man.
Speaker 1:So was it a big challenge for you? Did you find it as a big challenge as a young kid having to move and in their new school you've got a completely different set of friends and trying to fit in. Did you find that like a big challenge at that time? Follow up you, probably in your ways, for such a long period of time?
Speaker 2:yeah, I, I didn't. My sister found it more difficult because I entered for first year in secondary school. So everybody is a little bit new and there's kind of uh, people haven't found their shape or their kind of groups haven't been that solid. They've been broken up since primary schools. My sister joined uh in the middle of primary school and I think she had the most difficult time but she was bullied and she had a tough time. I had an easier time but again still moving out and knowing nobody. I mean it is what it is right. Looking back, it developed a lot of stuff in me so I'm quite pleased that I did go through that experience 100%.
Speaker 1:How did you did you say that experience 100? How did you did you say was your mother give you the book? Uh, tony robbins and lisa giant within was it. Was that, yeah, so was she big into personal development. What was the studying behind it for her, or where did that come from?
Speaker 2:no like, not at all not at all and I don't know. I mean, she was staying with us there over the weekend, so I must ask her like what was that about? But I think, I had always wanted to. Can we go really deep and then we can come back?
Speaker 1:here, go as deep as you want.
Speaker 2:So I mean, I grew up in a very religious background, right, so I gave out communion in mass and I I saw the priest some of the priests were more inspiring than others and I thought, oh my, I mean, somebody can be in front of other people and inspire them. That's interesting. I want to do more of that. So I think that's kind of like roughly where that kind of motivating, maybe inspiring other people kind of came from. But then I moved completely away from religion. Uh, I mean, I would say I would say I'm an atheist I've never said that publicly before but I would also say I'm, um, very aware of my own consciousness, which is not necessarily spirituality, but it's a spiritual line of development.
Speaker 1:So when you say atheist, is it in terms of what we look at, in terms of what the common religions are as a God, or do you have just an atheist view of everything? There's no God? Or is it God from a different perspective, in terms of you just mentioned it consciousness, because in society, religion is what we normally think of as God. I'm trying to find out from your perspective. Is it that, as in an atheist view, or is it no, there's nothing? We don't know no there's nothing we don't know and I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is true, nick. Right.
Speaker 2:So starting from there, what I do know is that you and I are both now conscious and aware that we're having this conversation, and if you, I mean like I've looked deeply into this stuff if you start from that sense of awareness and actually pay attention to it, you realise that all religions, all for example, sufi wisdom, which is based on Islam Buddhism doesn't really do it the same realise that all religions, all for example, sufi wisdom, which is based on Islam Buddhism doesn't really do it to the same extent. Judaism and Christianity and stuff all go. The kingdom of God is close to hand. As an example, To them. They all talk about the same thing and I think it's consciousness. We just rarely pay attention to it.
Speaker 2:We give it a religious slant because it explains the big questions like those. I've just detoured all of them and just rested in awareness as being enough for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%, and I'm kind of with you because I grew up from a catholic religious background as well. So very much so um here, and I was very much kind of and that as well too, for for a long period of time. But then just kind of found my own way and um, more of I would look at again god from a different perspective, more as a, a grand, organized designer, like there were all conscious beings here on this planet earth. How do we get here? This has to be something that obviously brought us here. What that is, again, as you said, we don't really know. But I like even the panpsychism kind of viewpoint where, like it's all conscious, the planet earth is conscious, everything's conscious, we're all kind of living, conscious, breathing beings, um, connected yeah, I don't necessarily agree with that, because that's different, because there's two, there's juxtaposition within that same statement.
Speaker 2:So one of them is that a rock is conscious, but it's. We're interconnected, so the interconnectedness is true, different.
Speaker 1:That the rock is conscious is different to that there's different, there's different viewpoints on that and this could be a totally different podcast for sure. We're already going down the rabbit hole here, um, for people that are listening. But yeah, I kind of look at I try to look at things from that point of view where we're all interconnected in some way or form, consciously yeah yes, but we're the ones with the consciousness yeah, but who's to say that all those things are unconscious?
Speaker 1:we don't know there's ways to measure it yeah, okay, this is going to go down a deeper rabbit hole.
Speaker 2:Let's but I mean maybe these are the conversations people need to be having shameless yes, that is true that is very true this. I see this. They may not. They may feel like they're against each other, but I mean, maybe there's a perspective that includes both and we're not having those conversations 100 agree mean I value your view of the world. If I didn't, it would be very easy to go no wrong, bad away. I mean how might we come back to relationship now with those two perspectives? Don't ask that question.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and, as you said, these are conversations. I have a good friend of mine where we sit, like we spent. We spent 45 minutes in a sauna yesterday and we just sat and have these conversations. What, what? What do you think? What do you think? And, again, as you said, we don't know. We're given our viewpoint. Is it that? Is it panpsychism? Is it something else? Is it this? Who knows? Yeah, who knows? But it's always. I love those conversations, I love going deep with those conversations and just exploring it and seeing, like, what everybody else thinks. How do you view the world?
Speaker 2:100%, and, as you said, they're not the conversations that a lot of people are having, maybe, especially on podcast center and again it's are you willing to listen to learn or do you want to listen to back up you being right?
Speaker 1:yeah, a hundred percent yeah right. I mean, that's what we're not good at yeah, because, yeah, we don't like to be seen to be wrong yeah, um.
Speaker 2:Do you ever hear? What does it feel like to be wrong? You're asking me. Maybe I can give you the answer. Go Shit, you actually don't know until you find out that you're wrong. That feeling is really uncomfortable. The feeling of being wrong is just ignorance, as in you don't even know that you're wrong. Right, yeah. I'm like that's cool, that's cool.
Speaker 1:Give me a bit more context on that, then, for people that are listening in.
Speaker 2:If you're driving on the right-hand side in the UK and Ireland, that's wrong. You'll find out that you're wrong when you bang into a car that's driving towards you.
Speaker 1:Just blissfully unaware.
Speaker 2:Just like home. Yeah, 100%. You have to be woken up. We have to wake up from these trances that we're in.
Speaker 1:Is that what Emilio said? Awareness, have you read his book?
Speaker 2:I have it on Kindle and I haven't read it.
Speaker 1:Very good, you'll love it. Listen to our conversation. You'll definitely like that book, for sure. Yeah, you were going to say a quote from it no, no, I'm saying that his book is basically about that. It's about waking up, it's about awareness yes, yeah, beautiful.
Speaker 2:So there's childhood, right yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:So take me back to the tony robbins book. Then, philip, you get the tony robbins book. What? What do you love learning about that? What stands out for you? Because has that thread obviously as a coach now doing what you do, has that thread always been there. Where did that kind of inspiration start for you?
Speaker 2:so again, seeing somebody up on a stage motivating and inspiring people or helping them see that a better future was possible right I'm trying to make the language more generic than a religious or like individual religion, and I was very interested in that, and so when I read the tony robbins book, it gave me tools. I made a big part of it, as NLP gave me some tools, some things that I could try and use myself, and they worked. And so I'm like, oh, if I know this and it works for one, let me test it with other people. And so then you're having these conversations that are at a different level. And then in 2013, I'd saved money to be able to actually do a course in coaching. So 2013,. I'd saved money to be able to actually do a course in coaching. So 2013,. I did the course.
Speaker 2:2014, moved up north to join one of the largest banks in the world, one of the top three banks in the world, in a tech role. But I actually volunteered, or kind of put my name forward, to coach in one of the most senior leadership programs that they had in the region, only a couple of weeks into the bank, and I knew that they paid in the region. Uh, only a couple of weeks into to the bank, and I knew that they paid a lot of attention to leadership development, coaching, all that kind of stuff. And so I joined for the company, not the role. So, even though it was a technology role, when I was approved, I guess, as an internal coach three times a year I'd coach, uh, some of the most senior individuals across the company and it was incredible, incredible experience. I was roughly 26, 27, uh, incredible experience.
Speaker 2:Then I moved into a kind of lnd role where I was actually managing those programs, so I kind of held the responsibility for them running and I got this little coach on them and then just built my coaching experience uh, literally thousands of hours of coaching, um, over the last 10 to 15 years. And so now I'm endlessly fascinated. I have multiple kind of mentors. Again, nobody stands on their own there. We are mentored and guided and supported. And I mean I have Therapists, mentors, coaches, folks, people that I Revere, people that I look up to and people that have been really kind with their time but also their wisdom. And so I've Stuff lined up for this year and I mean, hey, shameless plug For your thing coming up in a couple of weeks, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, the event like that yeah, it's going to be fantastic if you schedule them, your development feels like you have a path to be excited about. So I mean, what's the one line on the event?
Speaker 1:the science of success and fulfillment. The Dr Dean Martini event. Yeah, 24th of Februarybruary, it's going to be a fantastic evening.
Speaker 2:100 tickets available tickets are available. I wasn't prepared to do that, but again I mean those kind of events like where would you get access to somebody like him?
Speaker 1:yeah, exactly, um, and I think for people like myself and yourself, we're obviously really interested in that type of work. We want to know more about human behavior and for most people that are listening into this podcast, it's going to be entrepreneurs, business owners, ceos, etc. They're interested in that as well, too, because they want to develop themselves more so that they can grow in business. For people that don't have any interest in that and let's go with this, because it's what's coming up. For people that don't have any interest in that then let's go with this, because it's what's coming up. For people that don't have any interest in that, but they want to change. What are you? What advice would you give them in order for them to maybe look at themselves and think about how can I start to create change in my life, how can I start to develop more of these things within myself?
Speaker 2:And these are people that aren't interested in personal development.
Speaker 1:People and these are people that aren't interested in personal development, people that they know they want change, but maybe they aren't aware of the things that we're aware, of, the events that we're aware of, etc. But they know within themselves that they want to change something but feel stuck.
Speaker 2:This is like the perennial million billion pound question. Maybe just get really curious about why you're currently doing what may not be serving you Right. So often what we do is go the other way and say, oh, I need these thousands things to do differently, so I need to eat better, move more, drink more, water, network more, like whatever the list of things is. And we already are full today. So I mean most people are busy, right, so they're already doing stuff, so how is the room for anything new to even enter into that like daily set of things to do? My invitation is get really curious on what you're already doing, what that gets you, because it's not always clear. And then again it's back to your motivator away from pain or towards pleasure.
Speaker 2:Pain is actually a better motivator off movement or action. I don't like. I mean that's why my business is vitamin P, not painkiller P. I want it to be a choice that you choose the path. You don't feel forced to walk it. That's all deliberate. So if let's give people choices, right, if you want to change, get really clear on the pain of staying where you are, not just for you, but what's the impact on your loved ones, your career prospects, your energy, your longevity, your actually ability to stay alive and sustain this level of activity that's making you suffer. Make that really painful, painful. Paint it out over 30 to 40 years, you probably go. Can I say an f word?
Speaker 2:of course but I'm really ready like let's move away from that right. So now we've a little bit of movement towards something. You won't always be clear on what you want, but you can develop clarity over time. So what's just more of what you want, less of what you don't want? Start there. I don't set goals. I don't think they're helpful for me, but I know what I want more of. For example, I want more presence and time with my son, I want to be present with my wife and I want the freedom to be able to choose my calendar a little bit more. Let's start there, right. Or look up the wheel of life. Pick areas, find out where you are, find out what worn up would look like in each of those areas, prioritize three, maybe two, maybe one.
Speaker 1:See what happens so, with the people that you coach, philip, what do you see as a big challenge for them? And I suppose, maybe having the courage a lot of times they actually do that what do you see as a big challenge for them in picking those three things or making those changes? What are they coming to you with, first and foremost? How are they feeling? What's the problems, what's the challenges that they're experiencing in their careers and their lives and their businesses?
Speaker 2:I don't know, because it changes and it's multiple things. So this is why I've never said this is my ideal client, because I don't really have one. It's you either get me or you don't. And if you don't, no issue. I literally have a page of people that I give to people if I'm not the right coach I like, here's people right, so so. But typical challenges are typically, uh, from a stressed state. Here's how your results are suffering, your behaviors are showing up reactively, your thoughts are negative, small, maybe close-minded, a little bit kind of like negative and scarcity. Uh, your feelings or emotions are typically maybe stressed, anxious, frustrated, angry, any of those kind of like negative and scarcity. Uh, your feelings or emotions are typically maybe stressed, anxious, frustrated, angry, any of those kind of things. And you know that a better possibility is true. You just don't have the map towards it. Typically, the people are extremely high performing and care about people, and that's's really important. If you are only high-performing at the cost of others, no interest in working with you.
Speaker 2:There are more important things than you getting results and if you only think about your results, no, I'm not for you. So I talk about working with these unicorns and I've thought before they don't exist, but they absolutely do and I just seem to work with a few of them and they find me. I don't know how, but the people that are exceptional at what they do and they want to make the world and the kind of like company or the group that they like lead, they want to help people they want to serve other people.
Speaker 2:They want to create a better world for people.
Speaker 1:That's the kind of person that I'm attracted to and feel that they're attracted to me as well yeah, 100, and I totally agree, um, because I think if you are involved in creating something big anyway, like the person that's going out and doing good things, like the person that's going out and doing good things and the person that's going out and creating big things has to have that mindset of impacting and helping and growing and having an impact on humanity. I think, first and foremost, what are the things and the differences that you see, philip, between the people that you're working with, like those leaders? What are the traits? What are the things that they embody? What are the things that you're working with, like those leaders? What are the traits? What are the things that they embody? What are the things that they do and show up with that make them great leaders in their industries?
Speaker 2:They want to grow, and growth isn't always more, sometimes it's better, so it's not always an acquisition thing. I mean, somebody I met today said to me they are so far beyond what they ever could need or want that the question we're now asking is what does growth look like when money is not the thing? So then it moves to service. If your own individual needs are met, how might we serve others? So growth is big Curiosity, that kind of willingness to explore and experiment. So there's built-in failure in that and being comfortable enough to go yeah, that's okay, I play with that, let me experiment. What's the small safe to fail experiments? That's kind of cool. Uh behaviors, uh, reflection. So, whether it's our coaching conversations or journaling, a lot of them, most of them, take time out to think and reflect before reentering into the workplace or their role.
Speaker 1:Bowls because they're multiple. I think that's like a buggy thing that you mentioned there reflection, and a great leader will do that, because I think personally, from my perspective, that people that don't embody great leadership qualities deflect. They push the blame on the other people a lot of the times and it's about getting it away from them, where I find that most people that are striving to be better, wanting to be better and, as you said, looking to serve humanity in some way or form, there's a tendency to look with them and reflect on what they can do better and how they can develop more of themselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I mean, do that with kindness, because you can reflect and beat yourself up.
Speaker 2:And then your anxiety or guilt or like negative self-esteem, like negative relationship with yourself, is what's driving the acquisition or want so compassionate inquiry to use a gabber mattes kind of language compassionate inquiry or reflection is really profound and helpful. That would definitely be on the list. The other thing that I heard from what you said there is responsibility, so there's not a sharing of or like so let me say it a different way taking responsibility for what's theirs to hold and being really good at helping other people hold what they should be responsible for right.
Speaker 2:Because that's very different from holding everything and burning out from that. But it's also very different from blaming or just not even delegating, just removing responsibility from themselves and putting it on.
Speaker 1:That's not leadership it's like sacrificing yourself altruistically and and burying yourself yeah, yeah, yeah, and that does nobody any good.
Speaker 2:Uh, I mean, if I now let's go through the ranks so one person runs like like billion, like multiple billion dollar businesses, this person's capacity, so ability to be able to uh, problem solve at silly scale is profound.
Speaker 2:And yet their humility to say I really struggle with anger. So, despite the skill set, experience, wisdom, all that kind of stuff, to say, do you know what sometimes I need? I need help? Yeah, and I mean, the most common emotion for leaders is frustration, and the reason for that is, if you're typically in a leadership position, you have really high expectations or standards for you and others, and reality is always going to be different to those expectations and the gap is the frustration. So you hold the suffering and the anxiety of the organization if we're not resourcing ourself. And again, this is why some of the work that you and I will do with people is helping you resource yourself, recover, recharge, so that you can hold both that tension and then the the load that leading places on you so taking it back a wee bit again then, philip, um, I'm looking to get a wee bit more context.
Speaker 1:When did you know that this is what I should be doing? This is what I really love, this is what I feel really inspired to do you like, was it a clear path for you when you moved up north, or was it like it kind of just evolved into what you're doing now?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean it changes. Two weeks ago I wrote in my journal I really doubt my abilities as a coach. I don't know if I'm cut out for this okay, what so what brought that up? Just being stressed Like it wasn't a thing.
Speaker 2:It was just again. In these states of nervous systems. This is how our mind plays tricks on us to go. You should be safe and careful right now. You shouldn't take any risk. Being you is a risk right now. Are you sure you want to do that? You should go back to safety, right. So I mean but I'm maybe just I'm making it up as I'm going along shameless. I mean, I wasn't doing that many talks two years ago and now I'm doing a lot of keynotes and I plan on that being a big piece of my like out of the shape of my work.
Speaker 1:So and I think just on that, philip. I think for people listening and as coaches, we coach a lot of people and help them and sometimes the perception that all of the coaches have their shit together. They've got all the tools. They don't feel this way. Maybe they don't have imposter syndrome, maybe they don't have the things that I'm experiencing, but what you just highlighted is not the fact not true that we do experience all these different things, no matter what the tools might be that we've learned and developed and harness.
Speaker 2:Just don't go through your own shit oh, I mean just to check, are you a human?
Speaker 1:exactly. Yeah, oh, you are, yeah, exactly. I mean like it's a human experience 100%. But the perception a lot of the times is that, oh sure, you must have your shit together or you haven't got like, you've got the tools and you've you've developed past a lot of these things.
Speaker 2:I actually think it's harder because you have the tools and you're still not using them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's the thing is that when we're coaching other people and this might be the same for you, it definitely is for me the teacher is the, the student is the teacher and the teacher is the student. It's just a both-way communication. You're telling somebody something and all of a sudden you're going I need to do that myself.
Speaker 2:I need to bring that on myself. Yeah, I do public reminders. Yeah, they just happen to be keynotes, it's the same 100%. Just to go through that thing again. So negative thoughts, negative emotions, negative behaviours Like guilty, but it's not guilt, it's human, of course.
Speaker 1:100% like guilty, but it's not guilt, it's human of course, 100%, and then just it's for you just even bringing that up and being honest about that, do you know what I mean? Because it's, I think some people listening in or some other people from the outside looking in always see it as I think, more so from a coaching perspective, that right, okay, it's got to shit together and maybe there's an experience that yeah, I mean, do you want me to list the things that are wrong with me?
Speaker 2:would that be helpful for people's confidence? No, depends how long we have but I mean like just again to say I mean one of the most successful people I work with said to me a couple of weeks ago when will I be found out? It's the same stuff that we all experience. It's not imposter syndrome, it's not a syndrome.
Speaker 1:It's growth, feeling discomfort 100% and I feel that imposter syndrome a lot of the times kicks in. When we're comparing, it's just a comparison. You could call it the comparison syndrome instead of the imposter syndrome, because anytime that you're comparing yourself to somebody else, a lot of the times you're minimizing yourself and you're not being your authentic self. When you're not being the imposter is when you're just being your most authentic state yeah, and feeling discomfort from doing something for the first time is normal.
Speaker 2:I mean, I I spoke to my sister the other day and she has two daughters, so my two nieces. They're both getting growing pains at the moment. So they're waking up in their sleep because both their legs are sore from growing. That's interesting. So they feel discomfort because they're growing. Maybe we do too. We're just labeling it as I'm an imposter, I don't belong, horseshit, it's just growing pains, keep going 100%.
Speaker 1:So when you're in those types of funks, when you're writing in your journal and you're doubting yourself, what are you doing, what are the tools that you're doing that other people can listen in and grab and go okay, I'll implement that. When I'm thinking that way, I'll do this. When I'm feeling that way, I can do this uh um.
Speaker 2:I learned a simple tool, like last week, and I haven't been using it but it's really helpful. So three journal prompts what, so what? Now what? And it's from Greg McKeown who wrote Essentialism. So I mean I can probably get my journal and read it to you, right? But the what is you? Just brain dump. And whether you want to call it Morning Pages, which is from the artist's way by Julia Cameron, it's literally just that brain dump. Get it out of your head.
Speaker 2:So what is now? We apply meaning making to it. So I've noticed that theme comes up, I've noticed this, I've noticed that that's interesting. So that's the so what. And then the now what is. So what's the action? And if you can do those three kind of responses to those prompts, accepting that it's all just okay to have experienced. So acceptance is always first. But I'm just trying to talk. I wanted to give something before I talk, like it's always acceptance. If you judge something as I shouldn't or I'm bad for it's happening, just because you have a thought, doesn't mean that that's who you are. I've had many thoughts that I wouldn't admit to publicly. It would make me feel like a bad person, like I hope that person trips up. That's a bad like bad thought in inverted commas. It's not not, it's just the thought. It doesn't make you who you are.
Speaker 2:Your choices do and how you embody it. So that's what the now? What is about? So what is? Get the noise down. So what is? Find out the themes or the things that you want to pay attention to. Now what? What are you going to do about it? Who will you become because of it? That's quite a useful thing, but just get it out of your head without judgment. It's just stuff. If what you've written disturbs you, burn it. Now it's gone. It's just a thought. My therapist. A couple of years ago I did a talk and I asked my therapist beforehand do you think that this is true, what I'm saying? And she said I approve your message. And my message was three words it's all bullshit, right, it's all made up. Just because of your lived experience versus mine, we project and see the world very differently and if I tried on your lens for a day, I'd see the same situation in a very different way. And I'm not sure how long you want to go for right, Because I can talk for a long time. Yeah, we're good.
Speaker 2:So let me say, like, if I give my girlfriend flowers, so this we'll call an event stimulus, whatever language you want to use. Right, event flowers give sorry, she's my wife, my girlfriend to somebody Flowers? Sorry, she's my wife, my girlfriend is somebody else, sorry, don't tell her. I said that. But if I give flowers to my wife Katie, and your girlfriend.
Speaker 1:You're going to be out of fortune flowers.
Speaker 2:And she's just watched the Instagram video that says when your husband gives you flowers, they cheated on you with their girlfriend Sophie right, I'm just kidding, or it's her grandfather's funeral. Or she watched a different Instagram video that said when your husband gives you flowers, it's because they recognize you, they see you, they appreciate you and they want to love you forever. Flowers have not changed. The gift of forever flowers have not changed. The gift of the flowers has not changed. The meaning has. That's the. So what? Now what? Go give them flowers and tell them that you love them. See what I mean? It's the same stuff. It's just all bullshit. It's just a story.
Speaker 1:Yeah, truth is somewhere in the middle of all of it so whatever you attach meaning to you 100, 100 for sure what was that book again?
Speaker 2:essentialism or the artist's way by julia cameron. Essentialism is greg, it's, I'd say, mccune. He calls it mccune I don't think I've read that very good and he shared that on a podcast. That's not actually from the book. He shared it on Modern Wisdom most recently. Very good yeah but what a simple prompt yeah, 100%.
Speaker 1:I've used it a few times it's very, very helpful yeah, and that's a fantastic tool for people that are listening. Getting stuck which we all do stuck. It's very, very helpful, yeah, and that's a fantastic tool for people that are less than done. Getting stuck, which we all do stuck in our heads.
Speaker 2:Okay, can I can I give another tool?
Speaker 2:yeah, 100 percent uh, so if your mind is negative, the answer is always in the body. If your body feels negative, it's probably sometimes originating in your mind, right? So let's play with this. If you're feeling in a funk I think that's what you called it right? Negative thoughts, let's say the negative thoughts. So typically it's going to be all or nothing thinking, catastrophizing and maybe filtering that everything is negative. Whatever that stuff is right, mind is negative. Answers in the body move differently. So change of state. So, uh, nobody can feel negative in the middle of a jumping jack right, or jumping on a trampoline with kids, roughly, roughly, true yeah, maybe a burpee.
Speaker 1:You might feel a bit negative in the middle of burpee burpee.
Speaker 2:You're cursing whoever. I told you to do the burpees right.
Speaker 2:But I'm just giving examples yeah, so if you change your body, your mind, uh, at least shifts, or has the choice to shift if you change your breathing. So can we wander here for a second right Inhale is sympathetic activation, adding energy, but a little bit of stress to your body. So a big inhale, like Wim Hof, breathing energizes your system. If your body's already in a stressed state, that's going to add more stress, more negative thinking. You may not want to do that. Instead you want to do the exhale more negative thinking. You may not want to do that. Instead you want to do the exhale, which is parasympathetic.
Speaker 2:Vitamin b right regulation and recovery. And when that your nervous system feels safe, the mind can widen beyond negative thinking, because negative thinking is just survival, safety, right. So we've I've done kind of two things there with the body. Movement is part of it, and breathing mind widens, and widens wider than negative thinking. Right now let's go the other way around. The body is feeling a bit flat. What story or expectation are you telling about you or the people, the world around you that's holding you back from actually experiencing life or moving towards it? Because that's where you get that kind of lethargy. Or the word during COVID was I can't remember what it was, whatever it is, but I mean the mind and body feed each other 100%, man, 100%.
Speaker 1:We live in our minds.
Speaker 1:we don't and changing your state, changing your physiology, is going to straight away impact your psychology. On that, philip, negative thinking. I think a big part and you can give me your perspective on this is what causes more of it and why people are struggling with it even more. Is they think they should get rid of it or they think they should be positive only, which is a fallacy. It's a delusion.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I'm thinking negative thoughts. I'm thinking negative thoughts. I have to do something, I have to change something. I have to try and stop being negative. I have to be positive, and the big part of coaching that I do that's a delusion. You're not a positive only person. You're not going to get rid of negativity. You're a human being with both sides and when you learn to embrace both sides of your nature, you're going to be more in balance. So, instead of thinking that there's something you need to get rid of, what's it trying to teach you? What's it trying to teach you? What's it trying to show you? There's positive power in negative thinking, if you can use it properly. What's your thoughts?
Speaker 2:I mean the sooner we accept that life is the yin yang, the sooner we stop resisting the negative showing up, the sooner we stop energy going towards resisting negative showing up and the sooner it disappears. So again, that person wanted to get rid of anger. So they were resisting anger, so saying I should not feel angry all the time. But then if that's all that's on your mind, that's where your energy is going to go. And again, supposedly your brain can't take a negative, so don't think about a purple elephant. You immediately think of a purple elephant, right? Instead of just accepting that right now I'm angry.
Speaker 2:I mean I'm going to get the figure wrong, but let's just pretend the half-life so when a molecule disintegrates, half of the molecule that's left over, for example, the half-life of coffee or caffeine, I think, is six hours. So that means your last coffee at three, half the coffee is still in your system at 9pm. Then you expect to have a good night's sleep, right? Just as an example, the half-life of emotions are roughly 30 to 40 seconds. I've made up that number, but let's pretend it's true. The only thing that keeps that emotion, emotion, energy, emotion going in that cycle is your mind resisting anger and being angry about being anger or angry. So if we go back to where we started from the religious or spiritual or just consciousness and I play with this in the sauna and in the cold uh water, and I mean, test this right that I need to stop talking the rocks.
Speaker 1:Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 2:what is it?
Speaker 1:that I need to stop talking the rocks I need to stop talking the rocks what's the rocks? The rocks, which is, the rocks are conscious.
Speaker 2:The rocks, our discussion, that the rocks were conscious oh, yes, uh, hey, it's just a thought, right, so no issue. But if you, if you, if you go back to just being aware of an experience both joy and anger and just notice it, you'll realize it's just an experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%, and I think. So much of those perceptions of anger. And you could go even deeper, obviously, and look and go okay, so what was the perception that's causing the anger? What was the event? What was the thing? What was it that's causing the anger? What was the event? What was the thing, what was it that's causing the anger, or where's it coming from right now? And shift your perspective on that, shift your perception on that, and find the other side. How does it benefit you? How does it serve you? How does it help you grow? Where is it developing resilience? There's another side to that anger. A lot of the times, when we develop the ability to look at that perception differently, the anger dissipates in a way and anger is a boundary defense, so it's really helpful.
Speaker 2:If I step towards you and then step a little bit too close, you will start to bubble a different energy within you which will resort to anger unless you've. You're so used to suppressing it for too long that it disappears and you don't even have like you're too open to everything and everyone and that's when you get that people pleasing all that kind of stuff anger is a really useful boundary defense. The application or the expression of anger is typically what gives anger the bad name. So I shouted that I hit, I uh like whatever. That's the thing that's wrong, not the emotion. The emotion is just energy in your body that's probably a little bit elevated, a little bit full of like cortisol or stress, and it's a little bit like mobilizing. There's like an energy to do something with and you can use. It's really hard to sit with anger.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but as you said, so you can use that. You can use that to propel yourself forward. You can use that to get yourself out of a stand that you're not willing to accept anymore. You can use that in a positive way.
Speaker 2:Again back to the change. Get really angry or negative or painful or suffering about what you don't want any longer. Right, there's energy there. It's really healthy 100%.
Speaker 1:Love it, Feel negative act positive, as you said, it's the label and the meaning that you give it.
Speaker 2:Yes, the story that we tell about the thing, never the thing itself 100% Okay.
Speaker 1:Taking us up now to your kid, born 12 weeks ago. What you said? That you've been learning some lessons already. What? What are you learning? What are you? Um, what's the experience like for you, first and foremost, I suppose, over the last three months?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean. So it's beautiful chaos, and again that's the yin and the yang right. So chaos is the dark side. It's there, chaos, and again that's the yin and the yang right. So chaos is the dark side. There's times it's frustrating, there's times I feel like I'm way beyond the capacity that I think I'm capable of. There's times when he's done a punami. Have you heard of this, kirsten? Have you heard of this thing?
Speaker 1:I haven't have I.
Speaker 2:And I mean you can say again we bring expectations to these things. He shouldn't be doing what he's doing. And it can be frustrating. But actually again just back to acceptance. If you just accept this is what is happening, how might I love it? So kind of Byron Katie's loving what is, kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You have to accept whether you want this to happen or think it should happen or not. It's happening. So start there. And I mean it's reinforced that as a message very deeply. And I'm probably like I don't want to say I'm too accepting of reality now, but other people might say that I'm very accepting of reality, right, but I think it's a beautiful place to start from.
Speaker 1:Yeah, now.
Speaker 2:I get to soak him in, experience him fully, see the range of emotions that he feels. It's beautiful and I'm becoming somebody new because of him. So is my wife, and we are together as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fantastic, yeah. And as you begin to move forward for yourself, then I know you said that goals and plans like that aren't something that you really work on, or you find that they're a bit of a struggle for you Not a struggle, but it's just something that doesn't really make you tick With the kid coming along. There's obviously a massive value shift as well, too. You start to see the world differently. What are you planning now for yourself, philip, in coaching for 2025?
Speaker 2:And what are you looking forward to most, I suppose, 2025, and what are you looking forward to most, I suppose? So looking forward to have some really cool kind of talks, some really cool projects with some of the kind of biggest named companies that are here but have presences elsewhere as well. I'm really excited about some of the clients that I'm getting to work with one-to-one. It's mad. I had a conversation with somebody a while ago and it was a client that I probably didn't want to take on and I didn't have to, and then I had a conversation immediately afterwards with somebody I'm already working with that it was the easiest, just oh. So we're just going to keep going for next year and I think you're increasing your rate, aren't you? And there just seems to be more people like that. I think that's a big honour in continuing good work, and then I mean I need help with this right. I want to find ways to serve more and More people or serve more.
Speaker 2:Both. So my cup is constantly overflowing. Not monetarily, I mean. I would like to be earning a little bit more, right, but I have way more than I'd ever need. Do you know what I mean? So I just want to find ways to serve and give and support and coach and mentor and whatever that looks like. So I mean I do a podcast every friday and I'm just trying to share everything that I'm learning and taking in, because I want to give it away, because we did our honeymoon in south africa shayna's and the access to stuff we have, in comparison to some of the people that I met, is wild.
Speaker 2:And what if it was accessible? So I'm going to try and do some of that More music. I used to play music professionally and I haven't played since COVID. I used to play three nights a week guitar and sing one-man band weddings, restaurants everything I have the guitar here beside me.
Speaker 1:I actually got my daughter a guitar for Christmas.
Speaker 2:That's when she started learning. Yeah, beautiful yeah, more music so that's not a goal.
Speaker 2:Just more see what I mean. So it becomes easier to say yes to that. So that's part of it a little bit of travel not too much and more time in nature. I'm doing a tree planting with some of my clients on the 18th of January, where I plant trees as part of my business. I donate money to the Woodland Trust Brilliant. I plant like a billion trees in my lifetime or beyond. We need them and I'm bringing some of my clients to meet each other, but also just to do something cool together because one of the trees is for them as part of the work that they've contributed to. So I'm excited about that and I want to plant as many trees this year as I can as part of that. So, yeah, there's lots of kind of cool stuff, a lot of movement, hopefully as well, and my body feels aching because I haven't been moving since jack arrived as much as I normally would, and cleaning up punamis well, I mean, this is the thing, right, first world, and this is the first father, first kid experiences.
Speaker 2:So again, one area of my life is sliding or not up to standard again, or expectation, it is what it is. So we'll start there, right?
Speaker 1:100, that's a good place to start yeah, philip, I've absolutely loved this conversation, um, and I know that we could go down the rabbit hole on a few of those things that we talked about at the start, which, um, I want to actually do and take.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely, definitely. But I love having those types of conversations and, as you can tell, um, I think, just exploring that and, as you said already, like, I think it's something that most people don't explore, and especially in a podcast, because most people sort of come on with an agenda or they think they have to be this way. We have to talk about this and this is what we need to talk about, and sometimes, when the conversation just flows, we can go on all sorts of different, different what it calls ways of, I suppose, exploring what each other's perspective is and seeing what that's about, and what's it like for Philip and how does he see the world, and what's it like for Seamus and how does he see the world, and I think there's a lot of value in that. But I appreciate the conversation, philip, it's been absolutely fantastic. There's a lot of wisdom in that and, for people that are listening and who want to find out a bit more about what you do and interested, maybe in coaching? Where's the best place to get you?
Speaker 2:probably linkedin philip brady 1l and I'm not the baldy older man, that's my dad. I'm the guy wearing the red shirt on stage or vitamin p coaching on instagram, but don't expect me to post much there.
Speaker 2:I post most of my stuff on linkedin but maybe just to say I've really appreciated you and how you have this conversation. I like that you share as well as ask. I mean, it's not about me, it's about we. My word, for I have a few words for this year. One of them is serendipity, but the other one is we M-W-E. So me and we combined form one word, and I think we need to do that a little bit more often. We're all part of this thing.
Speaker 1:May as form, one word, and I think we need to do that a little bit more often. We're all part of this thing. May as well just make it as nice as we can. 100, 100, follow. Love the conversation, man, and appreciate it. Um speak soon. We will thank you.