The Seamus Fox Podcast.
This podcast has been created to share real life experiences from inspiring people in all walks of life, those who have engineered change in their own lives through a shift in thinking and beliefs. I want to share my own journey and have others share theirs so that it can help inspire others to crete the internal changes thats needed to create long lasting life changes.
The Seamus Fox Podcast.
Why do others succeed while I struggle? Uncover the secrets to success!
Ever find yourself stuck in the comparison trap, feeling like your accomplishments pale in comparison to those around you? You're not alone. Join me as I unravel the often-unseen impact of measuring our success against the achievements of others. Through heartfelt reflections on my own journey—like choosing the thrill of travel over traditional financial pursuits—I invite you to discover how aligning your actions with your true values can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic sense of success. Together, let's explore the idea that success isn't about keeping up with external benchmarks but about recognizing and celebrating what truly brings joy and meaning to your life.
This episode is all about transforming your mindset by aligning your goals with your core values. We discuss how embracing your unique path, and acknowledging that nothing is truly missing from your life, can help you cultivate a more positive outlook. Learn how this shift in perspective can boost your confidence, reduce procrastination, and set you on a path to achieve goals that genuinely matter to you. Avoid the pitfalls of comparison and focus on honoring your personal successes. This approach not only builds momentum but also paves the way for a life filled with personal fulfillment and success on your terms.
Why are others a way ahead of me? Have you ever said that? I know that it's something that I have said time and time again, more so in the past than currently but people think it constantly and it was a conversation that I had recently with a friend. When we do our morning weekly walks and we have a conversation and we speak about all things life and business and it's such a common theme that a lot of people will get caught up in where they think I should be further ahead, I should be more successful, I should be way ahead of where I currently am, or I should be more successful. I should be way ahead of where I currently am, or I should be more successful in my life or my business or my relationships, whatever it might be. Maybe you're thinking that right now. Maybe you're thinking right now I should be somewhere else, I should be further ahead. I'm not as successful as I thought I would have been at this point in my life. So here's the thing about success. First and foremost, success is subjective, because every single person will have a different definition of what success is. So no, two people think that success is the same. But what happens so many times for people is they get caught up with comparing their lives and comparing what they do on a day-to-day basis to somebody else outside of themselves. So it's commonly known as the comparison trap, or what it is actually is called the law of contrast, where we constantly compare ourselves to other people, we look at what other people are doing and we compare what we do in our lives to somebody else outside of ourselves. And what happens a lot of the times when we do this is we minimize ourselves in comparison to them and we think that we don't have what they have. So we think that we're not successful because they seem to be further ahead. Maybe you look at someone and you see that they might be further ahead in business, or they might be further ahead in their finances, or they might be further ahead in their health and fitness journey. Maybe you perceive that they've got better relationships, maybe they've got a bigger social following. Whatever it might be, we constantly do this and we constantly think why am I not there? Why are others ahead of me? Why are others more successful than me? I should be further ahead than where I am right now, and this is something that I thought a few years ago, and I remember something that I thought a few years ago and I remember having a conversation with a friend and a fellow coach and I spoke about saving and investing and I'd said that I wish I had have known back then, years ago, about saving and investing and I would have applied that then instead of finding out about it later. And I said because the money that I earned, the things that I did, I could have put it into an investment that grew and compounded over time for a longer period of time, before I actually started doing those things. And I said but what did you do at that time? And I said well, I traveled around the world. I took my family here, there and everywhere. We spent four or five weeks in Australia on holidays. We went to Bali, we've been to New York, we've been to Thailand. We've literally been all over the world, because that was a big value for me.
Speaker 1:And he said exactly that was a big value for you at that time. So that's where you allocated your money. He said would you go back and change it if you had the option to change it? I says, of course not. He says so nothing was missing then. You were allocating what you wanted to do towards the thing that you actually really valued at that time.
Speaker 1:So your definition of success let's say my definition of success at that time was something different. I valued different things. I value different things now. So here's what I'm getting at is, if you're constantly comparing yourself to somebody else and you think that you should be as successful as them, it's something that you're going to give yourself a hard time for over and over again until you begin to take a step back and reflect on your own life and look and see okay, so where am I successful? Where am I already successful in my life? Where am I successful in my business? Where am I successful in my finances? Where am I successful in my social life? What do I have in my form that I deem a success and that I honor? Because you already have that form. It's just in your values. It's in the areas that you find most important, and if we learn to understand that, if we learn to take a step back and see that right, I already do the things that's most important to me. I live in my values, and if I can learn to honor those and step under those on a day-to-day basis, then I can get to be myself and I can feel a success because, as I said already, success is subjective.
Speaker 1:Success is determined by what you deem a priority and what you find most valuable for you in your life. But if you're constantly looking outside of yourself and comparing yourself to somebody else, then you're always going to feel like you've never arrived. So why are others a way ahead of me? They aren't. Other people just have a different set of values, a different set of priorities, and their life demonstrates that. I have a different set of values in comparison to you. You have a different set of values in comparison to me, and my life demonstrates it. What I'm really really focused on is not success, because success is a vanity metric. I'm focused on my purpose. I'm focused on my highest values, because that's a sanity metric that makes sure that I stay focused on what I deem a priority, and then I can organize my days, my weeks, my months, my years, my actions and my habits around the things that I find most valuable. And if I consistently do that, and I show up in that way on a consistent basis, then I'm successful. Again, we're using the term success so that I'm going to be successful in my life because I'm doing the things that I actually really value.
Speaker 1:So anytime that we get caught up in that trap of comparison, which is a law of contrast which we naturally do as human beings there's nothing right or wrong in it. It's important to just take a step back and see okay, so where in my life am I already where I should be? Because nothing's missing. But in our perception, a lot of the times we think it's missing. So if you compare your life to me and you think that I'm ahead of you in certain areas of life, then automatically you start to put me maybe up here and you start to put yourself down here. So we automatically begin to put people on pedestals and then we kind of put ourselves in a pit and we become conscious of what we see in them as a positive and we become unconscious of our own positives. We are unconscious of their negatives, but we become conscious of our negatives and when we do that, we create things that are missing. We create voids, let's say, and emptiness, but nothing's missing.
Speaker 1:So it's important that you get to look at your own life and look at what you do on a day-to-day basis and see what's important for you and see where you have that level of success that you perceive others have. And when you begin to do that and when you can begin to take that step back, and when you can begin to see and look at your life and see what it actually really demonstrates is important for you, you begin to see right, okay, I'm doing the thing that I actually really like to do, I'm doing the thing that I actually really truly value, I am doing the thing that is actually really most important to me, and if I can learn to do that on a consistent basis and love that, then again, as I said, I'm already successful. So every single person lives moment by moment based on what is going to give them greater advantage over disadvantage, according to their highest values. So, whatever you do on a day-to-day basis, it's based on what you perceive is going to give you more advantage over disadvantage, according to your values, not mine, not according to anybody else's values either. These are going to be based on what you find most important, and every single person has a unique set of priorities and values. They're fingerprint specific. But if you're constantly comparing yourself to other people, then you're going to create conflict for yourself, you're going to create emotional volatility for yourself, because you're never going to feel like you've arrived and you're always going to think that others are way ahead of me.
Speaker 1:So it's important to take a step back, it's important to reflect and it's important to see what you do on a daily basis that is successful, let's say. That might be in your job or your career, that might be in your family, it might be in your health and fitness, it might be in your social life, it might be in travel, it might be in your business, whatever it might be. And here's the thing a lot of the times, a lot of times, we, when we look at people and we see their lives, especially through social media etc. We're only getting a snapshot. We're getting a snapshot, we're getting to see the things that people want us to see, but behind that there's other stuff. We're getting to see the positives. We're not getting to see the negatives a lot of the times. But you can't have one without the other. So it's important to see that for every positive you see, there is also going to be a negative, and you just don't get to see that a lot of the times through social media, because sometimes, when you do get to meet that person, you see that that person is just another human being, with both sides, with challenges and support, with pleasures, and with challenges and support, with pleasures and pains, with positives and negatives, and the thing that they might've achieved in their life has required a lot of support and challenges, positives and negatives. And sometimes when you look at your own life, you think I wouldn't change that. I wouldn't change that for that and I talked about this with my friend on those walks I talked about the night that I had a night out with Conor McGregor.
Speaker 1:We got invited to a VIP Snoop Dogg event with Conor McGregor, his mom, his friends and family and it was fantastic. Me and my wife went I was doing a talk in Dublin, happened to call in, happened to get two tickets to go along with them. It was a crazy night. It was amazing. But one thing I did realise and one thing I became conscious of was the other side of that.
Speaker 1:You know the attention that people want from him all the time, where people are constantly looking for photos, constantly looking for his attention, constantly trying to get videos, etc. The pressure, all of that. Sometimes you don't get to see that. You get to see the glitz and the glamour. You get to see all the things that you see on social media. But then they love with that attention, they love with that pressure, they love with a life of you. Go out into the public and everybody is grabbing at you and wants to get a photo and wants to do something to get your attention.
Speaker 1:That's the other side of it, that's the hard part, that's the negative side of it, that's the challenge side of it as well too, and you have to be a certain type of person and have a certain type of mindset in order to have that. So when you begin to see things like that, a lot of the times you get to see that it's not all roses, it's not all like um pleasure. It's not all roses, it's not all like um pleasure. It's not all of the, the happy, positive stuff or all of the luxury, et cetera, that you might get to see. And if you were to swap and have the opposite side of those things, you might not even want that. In fact I would say nine times out of 10, you probably wouldn't at all.
Speaker 1:So when we look again at why are others a way ahead of me, why are others more successful than me, maybe again think that way right now. What I would love you to do and listening to this and watching this is take a step back, reflect on your own life right now and look and see where am I successful? What am I already doing that I deem successful? Where do I have purpose? Where do I have meaning? What do I get to do on a day-to-day basis that is successful for me in my life, that is aligned with my values? That is aligned with my values? Where do I already represent a successful person In my own form? And again, I'm using success as that metric Because, again, it's a common thing that people understand.
Speaker 1:But don't get caught up in success. Don't get caught up in chasing success. Really get yourself aligned with what's most important for you. Really get yourself aligned with your highest values and your purpose and inspiration, because a lot of the people chase success only to find that there's nothing there that actually fulfills them and they might have wasted years chasing something to get there and then find that's not what it's all about. It's all about. So it's important that you find inspiration instead of motivation.
Speaker 1:It's important that you chase what's most important for you and your purpose and your values, and whatever shape or form that may be, and it's important to recognize that people aren't ahead of you. People don't have more of what you think. They just have it in a different form. You have it in your form, I have it in my form, every single person has it in their own form and if we can learn to understand that, we can bring ourselves back into balance again. We can bring ourselves back into a state of being more centered instead of emotionally volatile a lot of the time, because we're caught up in that comparison trap all the time, which can cause a lot of anguish and pain and anxiety and feelings of envy and jealousy and all these different types of things. And I've been there before and I've been that way, thinking that way before, until I started to really learn and understand human behavior and really start to learn and understand myself more. So what I want to leave you with in understanding this is people aren't more successful than you. People aren't way ahead of you. People don't have more than you. They just have a different set of values and priorities and their life demonstrates something different. You have a different set of values and priorities and your life demonstrates that. That's what's important for you Now, if you want to shift and change and have bigger goals and increase your business performance or have more finances or whatever it might be.
Speaker 1:You can do that 100%. I coach and teach business owners and CEOs and people in jobs and careers how to do that. You can shift and change your values and get yourself realigned again and start to set goals according to those things. But again, it's important to take a step back and realize that nothing's missing. I already am successful in my form. I'm doing that.
Speaker 1:Honor that and that'll help you give you a better state of mind, more objectivity, and you can start to see things differently. And when you can, you can then start to move forward. Because if you start to set goals and aspirations and visions in alignment with what you actually really truly value, that's important to you internally, then you're going to create more momentum, you're going to gain more confidence and you're going to take more action and you'll have less of the procrastinations, the sabotages and the hesitations and the frustrations, because now you're starting to do the things that's most important for you. So don't be comparing yourself to other people. Others aren't the way ahead of you. They're not more successful. They just have a different set of priorities and a different set of values in comparison to you. Look at your own life and see where you already are successful and then honor that. Okay, guys, see you in the next one.